Moving on is something I'm familiar with. However, I haven't personally moved on from a situation like what I'm going through. When I fell in love, I knew that love was a choice and not an expectation. Each day I chose to love because I felt that way. When someone suddenly disappears, how do you move forward knowing you don't get the closure that comes with ending a chapter of your life?
I've moved on from friendships, family, relationships, coworkers. I've moved many times, from Nebraska to Alaska to Colorado. Moving on was never my choice, but it was what was necessary. That is what I am trying to remember, that sometimes when the people you love the most hurt you the most, you have to move on because otherwise you'll continue to hurt for the loss of something that is no longer there.
Moving on from a relationship seems to be something people have a lot of opinions about. What's worse is that somehow the idea of moving on seems to be about the idea of rebounding. While I can understand why women do this in order to move forward, I cannot. It's not that I couldn't, I could go ahead and choose to be free in every possible way. But, from all that I have experienced and all I continue to experience, sex has never been the solution to anyone's problems. Sex never changed how someone felt. Sex never stopped others from hurting me. Sex never gave me comfort or assurance that everything would be okay. I don't judge girls who choose to do this, I am just not one of them.
I have watched many of my friends get involved in situations that could have been avoided if only they had seen the value within themselves. I don't have value because someone loves me. I don't have value because I am in a relationship. I don't have value just because I go and sleep with someone else. What I've learned the most out of anything in life is that the only person that can value me the best is me. I won't find happiness by deciding to destroy my own self value to "feel better".
For me, moving on means looking at a situation and seeing the good and bad in everything. I can look at the last three years and hold my head up high knowing that I honestly did my best. I've learned what I love in a partner, and most importantly things that do not work for me. I hold no ill will towards anyone when I choose to reflect instead of act. I do not use someone else to make myself feel better, regardless of whether or not they care. I love myself enough to know that no one will fill whatever problems I continue to work on. The only person that can change things is myself. I can create a positive experience or I can wither away.